What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
13.06.2025 11:38
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
How can I handle my distrust and jealousy for my partner?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
So, i spoilt her more .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He knew the spot.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
How does a person become transgender?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She found it foreign!.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I don,t even have a pension.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Does believing in God and Satan cause schizophrenia?
But, we were locked up after school.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She was in good health!
Comes on , in middle age.
Even Captain James T. Kirk was trapped in a woman's body. Don't you think he'd support trans people?
(And it was in our own minds.)
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Does the Hamas charter specifically call for the death of all Jews and the destruction of Israel?
And who doesn’t know suffering?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Put me off passion for life!!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She loved him until the end.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I never cut or harmed myself..
What celebrity do you admire the most?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I said to her
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She married twice! .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Do leftists understand why young men are becoming more right-wing?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
What are the most significant instances of romantic jealousy in the Harry Potter series?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?
And i lived it daily.
Would this be the day?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
We all went to grammer schools
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I think the readers, may guess!
Especially a lifetime of it.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
It was going to be , some day.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
As i do to all so called friends.?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My family never makes their pension either.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
One cannot live in the past .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I will be 64.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I have no regrets .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He resisted the act ,that day.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I write beautiful poetry .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We were not on the streets..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Why did i forgive my father ?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was 9 years of age.
I could never make a relationship work though!
So whats the point in blame.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I was seconnd youngest,
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I was very sick at this time too.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
What did i know ?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
But it wasn’t much.
My life is so biszare .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
This is soul school!.
When she asked me how she looked .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Who then, do I blame.?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
All the time i was locked up.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Ive learnt so much.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I waited trembling.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She wouldn,t have been !
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I was scared of men, in general
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Im still living with it.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!